The Comical Styling of Voacloid
by Camosity
Summary: Ah, my great treasure of a series, to be re-uploaded periodically!  Enjoy!
1. Kaito's Run

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

"Alright Kaito, put away that ice cream! Time for more exercise," Len and Rin told Kaito in unison.

Kaito gulped down another spoonful of strawberry ice cream and said, "Rin, Len, I really don't feel up to it today. Remember last time, I tripped? I still can't put weight on my big toe…"

"If you want to keep eating ice cream and stay thin, you have to exercise. Len, go start the Road Roller," said Rin.

Kaito sighed. "Now Rin, please be more careful with the Road Roller! I don't know why you don't just run in front of me with ice cream, I'd go, like, three miles per hour!"

"Most people can walk three miles per hour without motivation. Now go!" ordered Rin.

"But I," started Kaito.

"NOW!" screamed Rin, and Kaito left. She followed and boarded the Road Roller, which was already running, and sat on the floor next to Len.

"This'll be fun," Len whispered to Rin.

"What was that?" yelled Kaito, "This death trap is pretty loud."

"I said RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!" yelled Len, and he started the Road Roller.

Halfway through the daily 'run', Kaito's mind started to wander.

"Ice cream," he thought, "Strawberry ice cream. I like strawberry ice cream… what if they made banana ice cream? That would be awesome! Wait- I bet they do make banana ice cream. I should buy some! But then Len would steal it all, and Rin is the reason I can't get orange ice cream. I wonder what would happen if I bought eggplant ice cream? Gakupo would be happy… but yuck, eggplant ice cream? Yuck. What about coffee ice cream? No, they already make that… I don't even like coffee; I wonder why I thought about it. Ooh! Eggnog ice cream! Wait- they sell that around Christmas. But it's not Christmas… so how do I get some? Maybe if I,"

"WHOAH!" he shouted and felt himself falling.

"LEN! You ran over Kaito!" screeched Rin.

"No, I don't think so. I think he fell in that pothole…" said Len, looking over his shoulder at the hole in the ground, "Eh, he'll find his way home."

"Back to the house!" said Rin.

_This one was called Kaito's Run; did you like it?_


	2. The Oranges

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

"Len? LEN!" yelled Rin as she ravaged the refrigerator.

Len emerged from his room and asked, "What is it Rin?"

"The oranges…" she said, "They're gone…"

"No," said Len, "It's okay, Rin. I'll go get oranges, you stay here."

Rin was losing control already, "Oranges," she said.

"It's okay, Rin," Len said, running over to his sister and giving her a hug, well, more like a restraint, he knew she knew where the knives were, "Don't kill anyone. And don't stab Kaito, you know he hates blood."

With that, Len left and ran to the supermarket.

"Kaito…" said Rin, heading for the knife drawer. She withdrew a rather small one and headed to Kaito's room, "Kaito… Kaito have oranges…"

She entered Kaito's room quietly. He was bobbing his head in rhythm to a song on his iPod, scooping spoonfuls of… orange ice cream.

"Orange…" said Rin. Kaito still didn't here. She raised her knife, and stabbed Kaito in the side of the thigh from behind him, a non-fatal point.

"Dear God," said Kaito, looking up and making a face. He looked at his thigh, blood streaming from the wound, "Oh my… blood."

He passed out, for he has a blood phobia, you see. Rin took the tub of ice cream out of Kaito's lap and gulped it down in two scoops.

"Kaito have more…" she dragged Kaito outside onto the street, and started the Road Roller.

**Meanwhile**

"You're all out of oranges?" asked Len to the store clerk.

"Yes, this purple-haired man bought them all. He said it was for a sacrifice," replied the clerk.

Len groaned, "Gakupo…"

He ran to his house, which was across the street from his own. He entered, for it was unlocked, and saw the strangest thing he'd ever seen.

There was a ring of oranges, and inside the ring, making a square, were four eggplants. There were candles everywhere, and inside the ring, at the very center, was Gakupo, muttering a chant. He had not heard Len enter.

"Oh sacred eggplant, please accept these oranges as a sacrifice to your greatness, oh humble…" it went on like that.

Len quickly grabbed five oranges without Gakupo noticing and left. Across the street was another scary sight: Kaito was lying half-conscious on the road, while Rin came nearer with the Road Roller.

"No," groaned Len, as he ran toward the Road Roller. He jumped on, and shoved the oranges under Rin's nose, who sniffed in delight.

"Oh, oranges! Thanks Len, but you didn't have to be in such a rush…" said Rin, quickly peeling one.

Len sighed and ran over to help Kaito, who was crawling away from the nearing Road Roller.

"Rin, turn it off!" screamed Len. But she couldn't here; she was too caught up in her oranges.

Kaito was still crawling away. The Road Roller was getting closer. It was about to crush him, and then.

"Kaito!" screamed Len as he disappeared.

"Rin! You killed him!" screeched Len.

"No," said Rin with a mouthful of oranges, "He fell in a pothole."

_Poor Kaito, I love picking on him._


	3. The Conversing of Men

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

Len Kagamine knocked on Kaito's door. He was nervous.

There was no response, so Len knocked again, and when there was again, no response, Len opened the door. Kaito was leaning against his bed so that he was facing away from Len, his head bobbing up and down in rhythm to a song on his iPod. He was scooping ice cream from an abnormally large tub of ice cream that Kaito says he gets from his 'supplier'.

Len approached Kaito, careful not to startle him, because Kaito startles easily. When he reached him, he tapped on his shoulder, gently, but Kaito flipped anyway.

He flung his spoon upward, which flung chocolate ice cream into Len's eyes, who yelled, which scared Kaito. Len fell backward onto Kaito's bed, and reached for a tissue from his bedside table, and wiped his face clean.

"Sorry, Len," said Kaito, a look of depression sweeping over his face. Kaito gets depressed when he hurts one of his friends, or when he's embarrassed. He gets depressed really easily.

"It's fine Kaito, no worries" said Len, and Kaito's face brightened up.

Kaito's face brightened up, and he asked, "So, what do you need."

"I was wondering… um, if you could… tell inform me on how to… put the, _moves_, I guess, on someone."

"Oh," said Kaito, "You mean, like dance? I'm a good dancer."

"No, Kaito, I mean…" said Len, "You know… _boy-like-girl_."

"Um… like, love? I know a lot about _fishy _love," said Kaito, glancing up at the trout head on his wall.

Len gulped and said, "I mean… kissing and stuff, but with humans. You know… make someone attracted to you."

"I can't help you, Len," said Kaito, "I've never been in a relationship."

There was a moment of awkward silence, which was broken by Kaito laughing and saying, "Sorry Len! I couldn't keep a straight face."

"You're right, your face looks pretty…" said Len, a little annoyed by Kaito's joke, "So, can you help me?"

"Sure, let's do some role-play! I'm the girl you like and your Len. We're alone in our bedroom."

"Um, Kaito, I don't know, it's sort of weird, when I look at you, I totally don't imagine her at all."

"It's fine," said Kaito, "No go!"

"Um… nice shirt, Girl," said Len nervously.

"Thank you, Len. I want to nail you to a wall and kiss you," said Kaito.

Len's eyes widened. "What… what did you just say?" asked Len, slightly shocked.

"Aren't… aren't all kids your age that… kinky?" asked Kaito, confused.

Len shook his head, "No."

"Oh," said Kaito, "Alright… Len, you want to kiss?"

"Yes, sure, said Len, leaning in and air-making out (fake make-out) but then saw, out of the corner of his eye, Miku watching in the doorway.

"Well, this isn't weird at all," she said.

_I couldn't resist writing something like this, originally I planned to have Len asking Kaito about the birds and the bees, but this worked better._


	4. Dead Doggy

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

Rin and Len Kagamine were awoken in their room by the barking of a dog.

Len said to Rin, "I'm going to go kill the owner of that dog."

Rin nodded covered her head with her blankets while Len got up to find the source of the barking.

Len was surprised to find that the sound was coming from Kaito's room. He knocked, and was answered by Kaito saying, "Come in!"

Len opened the door and found Kaito, in his ice cream pajamas, petting a Border collie puppy, which was yapping excitedly.

"Kaito, is this your dog?" asked Len.

"No, it's not. He was my prize in a box of Ice Cream Crunchy Cereal. Well, actually, I guess that means he is my dog," said Kaito.

"Kaito, you have to get rid of it," said Len, "It woke Rin and I up."

"But I've always wanted a puppy, Len!" said Kaito, "And this one's cute. It even likes ice cream!"

"So it's going to eat all your ice cream."

"Oh…" said Kaito, frowning, "I'll have to kill it with an ice cream cone, then," said Kaito, and did so.

Every time Kaito frowns, a puppy dies.

_Poor doggy! This was sort of a sick story… not to mention a freaking random one._


	5. Ice Cream the Movie

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

Kaito looked at the movie in his hand. "Ice Cream," he read, "Awesome! Rin, Len, come in here!"

Rin and Len Kagamine walked in from the kitchen with some popcorn and sat down on the reclining chair. Len sat on the main part of the chair, while Rin sat on the part that folded down. Kaito turned out the lights and popped in the movie.

The other Vocaloids went to the movies but had been shut in by a blizzard, and weren't expected back for several days. It made the apartment very cozy for Kaito, Rin, Len, and Gakupo, who wouldn't leave his room.

The movie was dull, it was just a documentary about ice cream.

Len looked at the case of the Ice Cream movie. "Four hours?" he thought, "Holy sh-"

"AH!" yelled Kaito, "They mentioned my name! I buy the most ice cream from select ice cream companies! More than ice cream parlors! Yeah!"

"Um, Kaito?" said Rin, who had been listening to the movie, "They said K2, as in K2 Treats Inc., sorry to burst your bubble."

"Oh," said Kaito, "Woops. False alarm."

After the movie, Len and Rin were hungry for anything but ice cream, however Kaito was gulping it down like there was no tomorrow. Len made him and Rin a cup of cocoa and they went into their room to watch their own movie, sick of ice cream altogether.

"Ah, nothing like a movie," said Len as he lay down on his bed, Rin right next to him, "Yup, nothing like The History of Fruit!"


	6. The Zoo Trip

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

"Ah, the zoo," said Kaito as he bought an ice cream from a vender. Rin and Len were looking at the tigers, and Gakupo was watching a Koala eat an eggplant he had given it: just a regular Vocaloid zoo trip.

All the other Vocaloids refused to come, because of last year's incident.

**Flashback**

**(2005: Rin and Len are 9)**

"KAITO! KAITO!" shrieked Rin and Len in unison at the stop of their lungs.

"LEN'S STUCK IN THE BEAR PIT!" said Rin as Len said, "I'M STUCK IN THE BEAR PIT!"

At the time, Kaito was ordering ice cream (figures) not far from the bear pit. He rushed over (forgetting the ice cream) and sure enough, Len was at the bottom of a twenty-foot deep bear pit, trying to climb the completely flat concrete walls as some grizzly bears neared.

"How the hell did he get in there?" asked Kaito as a zookeeper entered the bear pit and rescued Len.

"Lan-guage," said Rin in a singsong way.

"Alright, how did he get in there?"

"Gakupo pushed him!" said Rin.

"Who's Gakupo?" asked Kaito. (Gakupo wasn't yet a Vocaloid.)

"I don't know," said Rin, "I made it up."

"So… what happened?" asked Kaito.

"I dared him to jump and do that thing with his legs so he doesn't break them," confessed Rin.

"Ah," said Kaito, "I'm never taking you two to the zoo again."

**Flashback Over**

**(2010: Rin and Len are 14)**

Of course, the other Vocaloids were at the zoo the day that happened as well, they were just all separated. However, the zoo people had to ask them all to leave, because they feared they would, "Behave like that little blonde nine year old."

But here they were, Kaito had become confident that the two would behave. Boy, he was wrong.

He turned around, ice cream in hand, to look at the tigers, and inside he saw Rin and Len curled up next to a sleeping tiger, apparently asleep.

"GAH!" said Kaito, and he watched as a zookeeper asked them to, "Kindly leave the premises."

Rin and Len stretched; apparently annoyed they had been awoken from their slumber.

On the way home, Kaito said, "Why on earth were you in the tigers pen?"

"It was Rin's life-long dream to cuddle with a tiger," said Len.

"And now I am content. Let's go again in 2015," said Rin.

Kaito sighed, and closed his eyes for a moment. However, he was driving, and this resulted in him running over Gakupo, who was crossing the street from his favorite eggplant shop back to the apartment.

"Damn it," said Kaito, "Where the zookeeper to clean this up?"

"Lan-guage," said Rin and Len in a singsong voice.

Kaito lost it. "SHUT THE HELL UP OR SO GOD HELP ME I'LL FU(car alarm goes off) KILL YOU AND BURN YOU AT A STAKE AND LET MIKU AND ALL THE OTHER GOD (beep) FU(someone screams at the sight of Gakupo) VOCALOIDS WATCH, UNDERSTAND YOU TWO LITTLE (ambulance sounds) A(a little boy screams)HOLES!

There was silence, and then Rin said, "Lan-guage," in a singsong way.

Kaito mumbles, "I hope you die from a twin related disease."

_Kaito snapped! Sorry about the language, but I really don't want to change the rating to M. Anyway, thanks for reading!_


	7. The Return of Camosity

**The Comical Styling of Vocaloid**

Twas' dawn, on a dreary day,

When the Vocaloids rose,

From their grave.

They had lay dormant,

For quite some time,

Due to the procrastination of Camosity.

_"Due to the procrastination of Camosity? _Cam, how the Hell does that fit into the meter of the poem?"

"Rin, shut up, I'm just trying to get this poem finished so I can get on with my epic return story."

"DON'T TELL RIN TO SHUT UP, YOU MOTHERFU-hey guys! I'm Kaito, I'm here too!-FA-pay attention to me! I want ice cream!-ASS DI-Len! don't say that word!-AND YOU SHOULD JUST GO F-gasp!" yelled Len, Kaito interrupting occasionally.

"Dear God, Kaito, where the Hell did that come from?"

"I got some AWESOME salt from this guy behind Burger King! It's frickin AWESOME."

"Come on, guys! I want to make a cool intro for my epic return story!"

"_I'll _cooperate, master Camosity," Miku piped up.

"Aw, burn in Hell," said Gakupo groggily, obviously annoyed someone had just disturbed him from his sleep, "I know a place where you can shove an eggplant-"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT THE HELL UP! I'M WRITING AN AWESOME INTRO POEM, AND YOU'RE ALL GOING TO FU-stop yelling!- COOPERATE? ALRIGHT?"

"Geez.."

"Fine..."

"Sheesh..."

"What the Hell, man..."

"What was that?..."

Twas' dawn, on a dreary day,

When the Vocaloids rose,

From their grave.

They had lay dormant,

For quite some time,

Due to a certain person's lack of writing.

And today they arise,

Once again,

To tell the fateful tale of...

THE NIGHT EVERYONE'S FAVORITE FOOD WAS STOLEN!

Coming soon.

"What? Camosity, did you seriously just make a preview for your next Comical Styling of Vocaloid short story, when you haven't made one in months? That is so lame!"

"Rin, drop it or I'll drop you from the story."

"..."


End file.
